I am 20 years old , I’ve struggled with PTSD and major depressive disorder since I could remember. I came here today because I’m overwhelmed and I don’t know what to do exactly. It’s a new year but that means nothing to me. I feel the same. I’ve been craving the euphoria of any opiate . The feeling of bliss , warmth and pleasure. One that I feel I can’t and won’t achieve with much else . I haven’t done drugs in about a year . Drinking is not an option. It plagues me with more pain and restlessness. I often think of overdosing and falling into a warm eternal sleep . But I couldn’t fathom leaving such pain to anyone . Suicide doesn’t stop pain , it just passes it on. I guess I’m just here to let it go . Just write . Just do something.