Since the Covid-19, i have been doing food bank pick ups for my disabled/elderly neighbors. This takes about 6 hours of work time a month that i have to make up for in the evenings or weekends. Don’t think I’m doing this for a totally honorable reason - they have a son who I think could do this occasionally but I think he has a strained relationship with his parents. And I understand this. I dislike my father, who lives several hours away, and i don’t help him much. So I do this because I feel guilty for how I feel about dad and this makes me feel good. I don’t post on social media or tell anyone I do this...I do it purely to feel better about myself internally.
But now my neighbor wants to come with me. I don’t like him, he makes me uncomfortable because he’s blind, mostly death, and frankly a pain in the ass. I know he just wants to get out of the house, but why is this my responsibility? I’m pissed at myself for saying yes to him coming. I’m pissed this is falling to me. And it makes angry. I feel walked on. I don’t want to take care of my miserable, alcoholic, mentally abusive father who is now frail. I certainly don’t want to be walked on by a similar next door neighbor.
Dumb vent, given the state of the world but I’m so angry, hurt, put out, and embarrassed.