Time Spent- 12m 12s
10 Visitors

No one cares about anything

You know what’s funny, people pretend to care when they ask how you are, but the only answer they want to hear is that your fine. No one wants to listen to your problems. When I was 7 my own parents neglected the fact that I was isolating myself and told me that my feelings weren’t important and that I wasn’t considering everyone around me. when I was 10 my dad got a girlfriend (parents divorce when I was 3 never bothered me) I had never had an issue with my dad dating and usually gotten along with his previous girlfriends. This one was different, I never payed much attention to her because she had two daughters, one was 8 and the other Was 5. I didn’t mind the age gap Because I had never had friends at my dads house. (I am with my dad every other weekend) every time I went to my dads they were there and it was awesome in the beginning till I never spent time with my dad, and the weekends they weren’t there he barely spent time with me. This is when I started to develop insomnia, another thing for my parents to neglect. My dad gave me a paddle board for my birthday, which was something I had wanted for years (my dad lives on a lake) as soon as I found out I ran down to the water and the girlfriends kids were already using it. I’m an only child but I’ve never had an issue sharing so I put on a smile and greeted everyone, after I was finally allowed to use my birthday present it was dark. The next day the girlfriends kids had friends in town (this is when I’m thinking I can use my paddle board and spend time with my dad on my birthday) ....nope I was on my board when the kids showed up climbed on and started telling me where to go (I’m not one to argue so I happily obliged) we ended up at their friends lake house where they took my paddle board on my birthday and left me on the dock by myself, when I told my dad about this later he told me not to be rude and that I need to share. Skip ahead to when I was 12 he and the girlfriend married, at this point I was tired and wanted to stay with my mom full time but nope, I ended up getting more time with my dad instead. At this point I started developing social anxiety but my dad dismissed it as being “shy” saying I’d grow out of it and that I just need to talk to people more. Skipping over the parts where I was called a spoiled brat and other hurtful things we arrive at me now 16 I was diagnosed with anxiety, and depression, my coping mechanism is this alternate personality that I have developed in my head because I don’t get support from anyone else, I have considered “the end” many times and the situation at my dad has only gotten worse. Thank you and I’m not sorry for ranting

-Z