Ever since I was little I’ve always cared a lot about those around me. Many times more than I cared about myself. I would often go out of my way to please others when they wouldn’t do the same for me and still do. This realization has progressively taken a toll on me, but recently it’s hit me almost unbearably hard. I’m pretty sure I lost one of my closest friends and the other people I’m surrounded by are terrible people. Like I said I’m naturally caring but these people talk about others without considering the victims feelings/ situation or that their words are really harsh. It’s become harder and harder for me to be around them but they’re almost inescapable since we’re on the same team, have multiple classes together, and are in the same clubs. I’ve tried to venture out and make new friends but somehow they always end up tagging along.I also can’t “leave” or point out their degrading manners without any drama. As far as my close friend we’ve had issues in our friendship which caused me to become distant. Although, my mom always says “you can’t hold others accountable for what they don’t know” so I decided to point out these issues in order to maybe fix them and better our relationship? But all I got was “idk how to respond” and honestly I don’t think they even seemed to notice my absence or will miss my presence, which hurts because they were the only person I felt I could talk to. Oh and my best friend she’s great but we barely talk anymore. I can’t leave her though because I don’t know what will happen if I do yk. It just seems like all the friends in my inner circle could really care less about me and it’s so painful that I’m scared I could possibly die of a broken heart. I mean this wouldn’t be the only cause but one of the main ones. Now I find myself tormented by the fact that I’ve wasted time on all these people who don’t care about me instead of the ones who really do ( aka my mom and little sister) I feel like I’ve wronged them in so many ways regarding my friends and other things and now I can’t do anything to change that or heal the pain I’ve caused.