No Sense killing yourself you will be reincarnated and come back and have to go through all that shit all over again. I know. Second, if you were abused and taught to hate yourself that can change. You can learn to love yourself and others don't give up. Realize the truth, you have only today to live and get through, anything else is just bs. The past is over, it no longer exists unless you bring it to life, it's just memories, let them go. The future does not exist, every day you live is today, let go of anxiety, it's not real. Love yourself, you deserve it. We all do. If someone acts like they don't care, believe them. Don't take abuse, if they say they won't do it again, THEY WILL. The last woman I knew who went back to her abuser was strangled. Figure out why you need to suffer, change it. Good luck.