Lately I've been questioning my faith. I try so hard. Everything at one time keeps going bad. I've done my best to put on a fake smile. I can feel myself losing more and more control. Life has got me down so much right now. It's so bad, that I am scared to death of what's going to happen next. I try to tell myself God is testing me. I've heard all my life that he tests everyone. I guess to see how strong our faith in him really is. I keep getting bad thoughts. I keep crying and asking why is all of this bad luck happening at one time. I know you're not supposed to ask God why, but I sorta ask it in my mind. I know everyone has a rough patch time to time, but this is beyond ridiculous. I feel like I'm being punished and I don't feel like I have done anything wrong. The only thing I feel like I have done is smile just a little. It's getting to the point where I am afraid to laugh or smile because God will punish me for it. I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense to you guys. I just had to get some feelings out. I'm trying so very hard to keep my Faith. Sometimes I feel like God is testing me then I sorta feel like the Devil is doing all these bad things to me so I will get so discouraged and depressed, and blame God for all the bad, so I will turn my faith away from God and turn to the Devil.