All my life I've been through hardships, and as I grew up it took a toll on me. Dealing with mental disorder due to them is not easy.
I didn't had the opportunity to develop and experience things as everyone else, it feels as if I was robbed of good years of my life that can't be returned.
My family was just broken, father with poor anger management, whenever he would get pisssed he would leash out, treat mother as if she was nothing, beside mostly doing illegal business to make money, always without a stable home to live, constantly cheating. This is what I grew up with, and beside that the food I've been raised with was unhealthy, basically I was thought to get whatever I want, which was not the good type. It ended up to the point I was obese, which resulted in constant bullying from colleagues, teachers, day after day, and other things. What was worst my family, not mother, but rest members would also make fun of it.
I got rocks thrown at me and being called monster.
Honestly, somehow I managed to pull through and lose weight, but in the long run I ended up mentally messed up. I deal with low self esteem, social anxiety, depression, constant fear of getting back the weight. Everything just kills me, no one really understand how I feel, I am always questioned why I am not social, honestly I don't know how, I really don't know how to act like a regular person and just tie relationships, it's hard for me.
I am trying not to end up my life, but the pain just grows and grows and I feel like I am a trash.