My cousins are coming tonight for a small get together.. I was excited kinda.. But some things make me off for lots of reasons.. I wanna go out and not come back home.. I love my family but I don't like to stay with them.. They don't understand me.. They think I'm a jolly person with no troubles but what they don't know is that I really don't wanna live.. I'm just living this life for the sake of my God.. Idk.. I'm confused.