Hi,I've been married for 4 years now and I have a small baby. But my husband is not the boyfriend I had. I had dated him for 10 years...but just during the wedding time everything changed. I had got into one of the best MS schools in USA. But my boyfriend (husband) and his family didn't want him to go so they convinced him to stay back. And he said since he couldn't stay without me, he will marry and we will defer for a year....a year later, his business was still not doing well so they asked me not to do it. I lost my will. Then I got pregnant which again I didn't want and everyone convinced me they will help me. But because of my Hyperemesis I had to quit work because I couldn't look at laptop or a computer for too long without throwing up. Then I had a premature baby. They put me down for it. But then I love my baby so much I didn't care. But every time I tell them I need to get back to work...(she'll be almost 1.5 years now) then again put me down saying a Mather should be there for a baby. My mother in law won't even let me get a nanny. I want to move away but my husband doesn't want to. Granted I'm a little lazy and I take my time with things but I'm always walked all over. But I put up with all of this....What has pushed me over the edge is when my husband hurts me every time he loses someone in his family. When he lost his first grandma, he kept snapping at me for no reason...when I told him he hurt me he said and I quote, he was such of me taking attention and making things all about myself when he was clearly grieving...I felt extremely guilty and I completely stopped being sad....Then a year later his second grandma died...I had a 1 year old baby that never slept well at night...so since I was tired, I didn't wake up when they were taking his grandma away....I understand it was wrong and I apologized to everyone. But my husband who was sleeping next to me could have woken me up...he says he did try, but I didn't wake up so he left me went away. I became an absolute villain and my mother in law made me feel so terrible that I wanted to die.But today his pet bird died....he kept asking me to take care of it. But I never could because of the baby and my dog. So he did take care of the bird alone. I understand how sad he might be feeling especially after spending 14 years with it...but I was feel sad too. You don't really have to take care of something for you to love them...case in point, my baby (not like I get help from him to take care). But he started arguing with me about something and it turned into a fight...and he again said I make everything about me. And that I am not a good mother being I always fight with him. I'm tired....I'm done living. I just need to die and get away from all of this. But the only thing stopping me is my baby. I can never abandon it. I forgive everything that happens within a day, but this time it feels different. I'm not sure what to do.