Hi, a few years back I got diagnosed with depression and I'm only 16 soon to be 17. I've been okay for the past maybe 6 months until more recently I have been thinking about wanting to die a lot more and today I actually self-harmed for the first time in almost a year. I have A few people that I could talk to but I feel like they don't really listen to me so I just keep everything to myself and I can't write it down anymore to get it out because my dad goes through everything and I can't really talk to my sister because she'll tell everybody. I don't think I would ever actually go through with killing myself but I definitely think about it a lot. I think my depression started when I was about 10 or 11 maybe, I didn't get diagnosed until the summer of 2017. in January of 2017 my mom passed and I think that's what really caused me to break. My dad's also not the nicest person to me everything's my fault and if I try to talk to him about anything and he just tells me I'm fine or get over it and when I talk to my doctors about it they tell my dad and he kind of just blows it off like it's a inconvenience for him. I have really bad anxiety and I'm definitely a little bipolar so all of that mixed with depression is not really good. I also have type 1 diabetes and I have since I was about 9 and it gets really really bad when I get into my really depressed moods, I decide that there's no point taking care of myself so I stopped managing it as well as I should and at one point it almost killed me. Thank you for reading.