i feel myself losing every part of happiness left. i give it out to everyone even if they don’t want it or realize it. i’m always the middle man for every situation trying to please everyone by staying silent. i wish i could stay silent forever and just fade into the background. getting high feels normal now and im at peace with the idea of death. im not near the end. my suffering is nowhere near over. nothing gives me hope or faith anymore, just the dry ambition of seeing whats going to happen next keeps me here. no one loves me and no one understands. no one will and i’ve accepted that. i wish i could feel something again. help me.