I’m not sure how to feel anymore. At the beginning I thought I was just lost but turns out I was just trapped. I’m not alone. It’s getting harder and I’m not sure what to do about it. My heart feels like it’s about to snap. I’m longing for something but I really have No absolute clue what it is. I wish I knew but I don’t , I wish I was like other people. I can’t laugh like other people. Or smile. Or cry. Or feel proper pain. Am I feeling pain though ? I’m not sure what this feeling is. I just want to be saved. I’m not alone. I wanna scream , kick and cry like a little kid but I can’t. My heart doesn’t work like that. I want someone to talk to me. But I freak out whenever I make eye contact with my own parents so it looks like that ain’t happening any time sooner. I want to go back in time to where I messed up and tell myself to stop and think. I’m not alone. When I think about it if I was just like the other girls , I could’ve been better than them. I want to live quietly, but It seems that I’m not allowed. I wish I was. I wish I had more independence. More freedom. I wish I wasn’t homeschooled so I might be more social, then again I’d probably be bullied for being such a push over. I wish I had more courage. I wish I could stop disappointing everyone. I wish I was allowed to be sad. I’m not alone. I think I’m just scared. Scared about what will come of me in the future. Will I be successful? Probably not. Maybe if I wish a little harder I might have some hope. Some light. I’m not alone. I’ve just been isolated for too long. I don’t understand though. It’s not fair. I have a great sense of humour, I know my memes , I’m good at understanding people , I’m a loyal friend , but yet.. somehow, I’m walking this earth alone. It really really isn’t fair.i doubt anyone will see this , but that’s not a bad or good thing. As long as it’s off of my chest it’s fine. I just didn’t realise I was this broken, I guess I was just avoiding how I felt. Thank you, I’m out.