i just, i just wanna leave this hellhole and move to a new town and reinvent myself and do stupid things and make bad decisions. i wanna lay in meadows and get drunk in a run down cottage in the middle of nowhere and taste the breeze and the sea and get lost in a forest. i want to go places and ride rollercoasters and try new food and meet new people and just allow myself to be free of all these damn responsibilities and societal expectations. but i know ill never be able to do any of this. and i know ill never be able to truly leave. and thats what keeps me up at night. what couldve been. my future lies in this shitty town with these shitty people and i cant do anything about it.