RANT WARNING:i remember meeting you...i was the new kid... On the bus i sat.my hood up nose in phone quiet and shy...you bright eyed happy talkative... it was my first day of 7th grade but at a new school... it was your first day of 6th grade... i sat with a red head...you a brunette. you told me i caught your eye you said you dont know why you wanted to talk to me you just did.mei dont remember much after that but soon me and you talked alot... i asked you if you had snapchat or instagram you downloaded them just for me you said.my ex found out i had made a friend and asked if you where a boy i told him all about you of course...he told me to tell you i had a boyfriend.me being me i of course followed his directions and lied to you. even tho i had not a single picture of him and me had nothing about him on my social media...me and you became close...i had heard talk of you liking me but i was to dense to actually believe it.i liked you tho.......ALOTmy ex convinced me i had to be with him...so of course i took his cheating ass back.time passed i finally caught on that you liked me but it was to late...me and my friend would wave at you in the halls call your name walk with you to class i didnt realize that i had fell in love with you...One day we convinced the bus driver to sit us together...we got close, me and you...you got into fights with one of your friends over me for some reason.me and you would constantly text , call , walk together , eat together...but yet i had a boyfriend...one day i came to terms with my feelings...i remember holding your hand randomly because i got scared...i believe one day me and you where going back and fourth and i asked you if you had had your first kiss yet you said no...i dont remember it all clearly but with said something like imma kiss you or can i kiss you...we did our little 'bet' 'bet' thing back and fourth so randomly i got this huge urge to kiss you so i was leaning towards you and i put my face to yours...i went to kiss you and you yanked backed red faced and confused i looked at you and you asked me what was i doing i told you and i tried it again...it was a short sweet kiss but yet deep and meaningful...i told you not to tell anybody because i was in shock i did it...when you got off the school bus you told either your dad or grandfather...our call that night consisted of me freaking out and you being youyou said your dad was happy...me and you grew closer...but yet i was still with my now ex boyfriendour conversations grew deeper i would mention marriage kids and more and you liked itx-mas rolled around and i did not get to see you,,, we talked everyday tho school comes back and when i see you my heart speeds up... i cant breath im seeing the person i am in love with againjanaury rolls around and goessome thing happens in febuary me and my bf break up i felt like a bad person for leaving him...i take him back w/o knowing what was to comesuddenly you have me at a distance for no reason and than you move sits...you tell me you got a girlfriend and all i did was say "im happy for you guys i bet yall are really happy"you had no idea that my heart just shattered and i was trying not to scream...me and you grow apartback in x-mas break i had redyed my hair and cut it all off in a boys hair cut...so you called me names like trans and uglyyou went from loving me and telling your whole family about meTO...calling me ugly unattrative saying im a bad influence...than corona comes around and i didnt even get to say bye to you...you blocked my numbermy friend who lived next door to you invited me over when we where outside we didnt realize you where home and next thing i know your outside trying to talk to me and my friendhe wont even let you near me...so before i went home i walked over to your house and asked to speak to youyou came to the door and gasped softly...i ask you why did you lie to me why did you leave me...you say your sorry that you want to be friends with me next thing i know i have my arms wrapped around you tightly my face in your chest... your taller than me despite being like 2 years younger than me...i feel your arms go around me and we stayed like that for a while...i shouldve held you longer i should have looked into your soft brown sparkly eyes a second moreim the one to break our embrace... youll never know how breaking our hug also broke me mentally...you still had a girlfriend still had me blocked...a couple weeks later me and my bf break up...some how you found outmore stuff happened and i learned recently you and your gf had broke upyou havent unblocked me...i wish it was so simple... i wish i could block you from my mind but yet most nights i cry for you...I am in love with youyour now 12 i recently turned 14if anybodys read all of this...thank youschool starts back august 17th 2020 maybe itll happenwhen i see him i dont know how ill face him...but i know now that hes the one i want...thank you for reading...