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overshadowed and depressed

for a while i was the one in the family where the attention revolved around i made my mom laugh my dad used to give me attention but when i distanced myself from them and at this period my older sister started a business and all my mom did was support her and my dad started discussing things with her i felt like they didnt care as much about me as her whenever my mum wants to talk she calls her name first jokes with her but when its with me it serious between us no jokes always awkward and stiff my sister used to be a nobody in the house like why this happened i hate her so much and whenever im depressed which is always no one really checks up on me they dont care whereas when she was depressed they gave her a lot of attention i hate this here they make me feel to have to compete for attention and i dont like that i think my parents are the ones who made me hate her so much and if things stay as they are i think im going to run away from this lack of love like is it wrong to crave their attention and want them to love me as much as they love her im crying i gotto take a tissue so bye

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Re: overshadowed and depressed

My dad tossed me out at 2 for blond hair. Whole life treat me horrible. But he so kind to sister. Constant attention. Gave her all his valuable old cars. Bought her endless stuff. I was given away. Even when DNA prove I’m his he still deny. Near death I take my kids to see him. He complain she won’t come see him. Then scream for us to leave & threaten to kill my kids.

My mom still & always has doted on my sisters. She took me in woods & abandon me as boy for ruin her life by having blond hair. She still treats them great.

It sucks being the third wheel. Just put yourself first. Focus on your self. I had to accept I was alone in this world. As an adult I found amazing wife. Many yrs of life. But I got sick & needed transplant. She divorce me over my becoming distant due to being so sick. So now I’m all alone. But I dont quit. I just entertain myself best I can. Oh I get depressed. I’m so weak. Think I may die within few months. Don’t know. So I came on here to cleanse my sins; but ended up trying to help others. Funny. Even as bad as my life is I still love others & pray for them.

Hang in there. Don’t let it destroy you.

God Bless