Divorce along with other things cause I’m a mess and disorganized this whole thing lol:im not saying my age on here but I’m relatively young and over the summer my parents divorced. It’s not like they’re abusive to me and my brother or anything but my dad verbally abused my mom and my mom felt scared to have to have me alone with him when I’m not at her house. And the person to tell me that was my freaking grandma. Obviously that’s personal info but she just told me anyway and I’ve been overthinking so much. Like I love my dad and I feel like I’m sure he wouldn’t hurt me on purpose or anything like that but like damn that news scared the shit out of me. My dad was pushing for them to keep their marriage going but we all knew that wasn’t going to happen. I was in a very toxic household where screaming arguments were a regular thing. My dad slept in the guest room for like a year before they finally decided they were going to do divorce. I’m pretty good with comforting people (if I do say so myself haha) and so I was always the person to vent to for both my parents. This was difficult because they would ask me about the other parent and what they think about a personal topic. I didn’t tell them ANYTHING about the other parent or any other personal info bc that would be messed up but they always asked. They also asked for my opinion and my dad would always try to get me on “his side,” which he did with everyone (even my moms parents but that didn’t work HAH). I would tell my dad that it would be ok and that whatever happens will end up being alright and we will all eventually be happy. He asked if I was glad this divorce was happening and I said that it would’ve been ideal if there was no problems in their relationship but we both know that’s impossible especially between them and their differences. But I also said that I don’t think that the divorce is a bad thing and it could open some new opportunities. He twisted my words and told my mom I was completely against the divorce which made my mom feel horrible. I soon told her that what he told her was complete bs and that he twisted my words. I was pretty much in the middle of my parents toxic divorce for like 5 months until I put my foot down and said that I will no longer put input into their relationship. I have some older friends with divorced parents but I didn’t rly know what it was going to be like which was kind of scary. I eventually got over it and I’ve lived in my moms new house for about a month and we’re getting sorta used to it. It’s just very awkward between all of us and there’s some real tension which is unfortunate but expected. I love both my parents so much and I feel like this situation made me feel like I had to pick a side which isn’t fair. My brother was also having problems with my parents (mostly my dad). That only added to the constant screaming in my house so I would usually go outside with my sweet doggie and just think about life. This was probably one of the worst times of my life and I felt a big load of constant pain. Family situations are very difficult to handle for me, but along with that i started having friend issues. I know this story is kinda all over the place but around 4 days after my parents announced to me that they were getting a divorce, I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years... finally (lol he was toxic af). He would make fun of my body and then I would confront him and then like 5 minutes later he would apologize so well and faked it so well that I just ignored the fact that he kept doing it all over again. I was texting him and I said something about a girl in my grade who has the skinny, big boobs, sexy body that all the guys love. He kept talking about her and I just said that I don’t understand how all the boys are in love with her when she has such a toxic personality like making fun of girls to the verge of them crying in front of their face and thinking she’s pretty enough to get away with anything. ALSO this girl....let’s call her J.... sent nudes to my bfs friend and my bf asked to see them so then he saw this girls nudes and I said something like wow the next thing I know my boyfriend is going to be sending a dic pic to J. And I was very mad so I said something kinda bad which I regret but I said that there won’t be much to look at anyways (I’ve never actually seen his uh ya know..) and he said last time I checked your body looks like this... “|”. Buddy you just FUKED UP. Wow I show my body to everybody every day when I wear a crop top or leggings or anything and you think it’s ok to comment on it? Real nice of you! I know I commented on his donger and that is not appropriate but in my defense I’ve never seen it so I have rly no idea how big it is or anything but on the other hand he knows exactly what my body looks like and decided to say I look like a stick basically. Also this didn’t make sense because I’m not even skinny. I wish I was smaller and had a much different body but he was basically saying I was flat. I’m like a medium girl who’s the best on her basketball and soccer team who is a freaking strong ass woman. Not to mention being a “|” should not be used as something to make fun of someone for. Being skinny is not usually something you can choose or change. Or it is very difficult to change. I can’t tell you how many girls (and boys) I know that struggle with body confidence, Including me. Sometimes I wonder why all my exercising doesn’t make my body look stronger and my stomach smaller and skinnier. I’m slowly started to feel more confident but there’s so many people in my life that make me feel like my body appearance is bad. I don’t get it bc I’m not gonna lie I’m hot. I’ve got dirty blonde hair , hazel eyes , freckles, a nice personality, and I’m really trying to fit people’s expectations. Genuine question... why do people expect so much out of people? It’s not fair. But anyway that’s my rant. I don’t have many trustworthy people to vent too so I’m trying this out. I’m impressed if you made it to the end but if you did just remember that your life matters, your literally beautiful, and to never change for anybody expect for yourself. I love who’s reading this. Your enough. That’s all lmao it’s like 4 am.