I am the parent of a very intelligent 14 year old girl who has ADHD, and for the life of me I cannot find anything that motivates her to do... well anything. I have tried offering a reward, nothing motivates her enough to do anything, not an allowance, a candy bar, or larger rewards that she can earn in pieces. I have tried taking away "X" and saying once you complete "Y" you can have "X" back, and she just finds something else to do. I have tried taking away literally everything (in steps, not in one fell swoop, I am not a monster) and she would just rather stare at a wall all day long than do what is expected of her.
I don't expect much either, that is what really gets me. I expect her to complete her schoolwork/homework, keep her room clean (as long as there is a clear path to put clean clothes away, and her desk is usable, her room is considered clean), take out the trash/recycling, wash the dinner dishes (unless she cooked, then she doesn't have to do dishes), and once a week I ask her to wash her own clothes, and wipe down the hall bathroom. All of her chores, both daily and weekly would not take more than 10-20 minutes of active time if she would just do them. (I also expect her to shower and groom herself daily, but that is a whole other can of worms I don't need to get into right now.)
She is not being defiant. This is the most comply-able child I have ever met... or at least she used to be. None of the strong willed child tricks you read in books and online are going to work on her, mainly because I cannot find a carrot or whip that has any affect on her whatsoever.
I have not posted on this site before, so I do not know if any of you can help me through some sort of comment, or if I am just screaming my frustrations into the wind. But if you can help me, pleeeeaaaaasssssse help; I am at my wits end.