I need to vent this out to someone because I feel like its unhealthy to not do soTwo days ago my mom sat my brothers and I down in the living room and told us that she and my dad were getting a divorce. Simple as that. I wont lie, I was tired of this fake 'happy family' dynamic that we had, honestly it was such a massive headache everytime we would go out somewhere together. Its been years in fact since ive wanted my parents to divorce, and its been even longer since I suspected that they werent like other married couples. So you could say I never had a normal family with two emotionally available parents and all that. Despite the fact that ive been wanting my parents to divorce, I think it happened so suddenly im somewhat unable to process it all. Whenever I think about it my stomach hurts, and ive even thrown up a bit in my mouth a couple of times, and i'll always start feeling teary-eyed, or just shed a few tears, and if it gets too bad I cant look at anything too bright and I have to lay down. I know that I need to allow myself to mourn, because the seperation of two parents is never easy, and I need to let myself feel my emotions, and I think I know why I feel this way despite the fact that ive been wanting them to divorce this whole time, but admittably, despite having both brothers with me, I cant help but feel alone.I dont think that they dont feel bad, in fact I think theyre hiding it maybe, but im not usually emotionally vulnerable with them or with my parents, and ive opened up about my feelings with them before, only to get ignored. So I dont feel comfortable opening up to anyone in my family about how I feel. I know im not alone, and I know they feel bad too, but I really need to talk about how ive been feeling so here I am.I didnt get to see my dad until earlier today, he took my brothers and I out to eat and we hung out a little. I dont hate my dad, but we have had arguments in the past, and hes made me cry more times than I can count, and thats saying something because I dont cry easily. With my mother, its the same thing. Ive had issues with lack of privacy with them both as well, among other things.Ive also seen how they act around eachother throughout the years. With the whole ignoring eachother, or acting stiff and awkward. I hated that, which was why I didnt like spending time with my family very much. I think deep down I wanted a happy family that always took some time to spend time with eachother while genuinely appreciating their presences. And while there were experiences that I enjoyed, sometimes the ambience too tense for me.Its hard for me to admit that its what I wanted this whole time but its the truth. I usually act like I dont care, and maybe there were times where I genuinely didnt care, but this divorce has opened some old wounds. And has made me come to the realization of what ive wanted as a child. But even at that age I knew it was simply a luxury I couldnt have. And as I grew up ive learned that my parents will never truly accept me for who I am. And one day neither will my brothers, but at least I have somewhat of a support network in friends online and irl, its small, but its way more than what ive had back then, and im very grateful for them.I dont know when i'll tell my friends or distant family, since im unsure of how theyll react depending on how long it takes for me to tell them in the first place. Im sure I will soon though.If youve made it this far thank you!! I appreciate you and dont you ever forget that you are loved.