Patriarchy and Me

Time Spent- 19m
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So I grew up in a patriarchal household where as a daughter I was always taught to be obedient and respectful of everyone around me regardless. The exact words my dad used were, "Be quiet when someone elder to you says or does anything wrong, because in due time when they realize their mistake, they will go back in time and think that their dignity was intact because you did not point out what was wrong." CAN THIS BE FARTHER AWAY FROM THE TRUTH ????

What is it with desi parents being obsessed with their self image to the point where they do not see the damage it causes their own families; the fact it can cost them their relationships is something they cannot foresee, or is it really reflective of the fact that they think it does not matter as much as what the society will think.

This is a rant because today for the umpteenth time, my dad asked me to do something and when I exercised my right to say no, his exact words, "you are not going to respect your father and mother ?" Just to let you know, he wants me to go to a wedding this afternoon, which I do not want to. I just don't. I am not in my mentally sound space where I can be surrounded by oh so many people and have to go through the tedious nature of an Indian wedding.

Now if I were to tell my parents that I was struggling (mentally) the past few days and hope they will understand where I'm coming from; that would be like wishing for unicorns to be real. In a desi household, rarely is mental health given acknowledgement (forget importance). My dad always said that when people are depressed, its because they are not able to focus properly (#facepalm); he finds people contemplating suicide, trivial; whilst not having the slightest idea that his only child has been researching ways to end her life because she finds herself at a dead-end and all the years of pure patriarchal mental conditioning has caught up to her and she might not be able to make it out of it this time.