I like to think of myself as a relatively quiet and reserved person around the majority of people. However, around my close friends, I act really loud and chaotic. That's a problem because they think that the majority of the stuff I say are jokes and that I'm not serious.
I'm not easily upset and I don't cry a lot because my parents are a little toxic to me and I feel like I've just grown some?? emotional maturity?? from it or just htat I genuinely don't take it seriously when my parents tell me stuff like. Stuff like I'm a fucking disappointment, I don't deserve to be their daughter, I'm worthless and that there's nothing good about me. I don't take it seriously for the most part and I kind of just laugh it off. My parents do apologize after they say stuff like that and maybe act nice for a day or so but then suddenly pop off at me one day.
But sometimes, I just really feel upset every few weeks or so. I try to ask my friends to talk to them but they just say something sarcastic back and go like "uhh" "uhmm"" "haha" and they just won't take it seriously. Sometimes I genuinely need someone to confide in but they won't take my seriously and won't talk to me. Everything I say just sounds like a joke just like I am and I'm bad at communicating and I just.