2 months ago
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Please advise

I am directly getting to the point ,

I am an 18 yo girl living with her sister and parents.

I can't wake up early from yesterday, even I put up an alarm and that's made my mother really angry yesterday, I wake up listening her yelling and crying and then I cried whole day .

And afterwards , when she came from work at afternoon , sge got angry because we haven't eaten our lunch and then started yelling and abusing us and praying for death of either her or us.


My mother gets so angry for reasons like not doing the work which she wants done . But how can I know what work is she thinking about . She doesn't talk to us and sort it out . She finds reasons for negativity and never respects another person's views or opinions . My father, he doesn't have his own opinion , he just sides with mother and starts shouting and abusing at us .

Please advise me some things that I can do for making her happy , she doesn't accept apologies and she is very negative , she doesn't want anything to sort out but I can't let my family like this .

I can even die if that makes her happy but I know that she just speaks all these things in anger , but please help me . PLEASE HELP ME



I am really dumb , but I never said no to any work or whatever my mother asks me to do . I have great grades and I was the topper in every class in school . But my own mother is not happy with me . I am really crying my eyes out .

I don't know why I can't stop writing but I am really scared of her and I can't say any word to any other person in real life .

I have no friends and my sister is always busy with her classmates and everything and she never listens to me .

I don't have anyone to whom I can share my thoughts .


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2 months ago

Re: Please advise

First off, I always mention to teens your age about the possible Peri and Pre Menopausal symtoms Mom maybe experiencing ifs Shes 45-55, some even earlier. These can be severe. Doesnt "excuse" her behavior but could shed light regarding her emotional extremes. After hangin out here a while, Im noticing more& more teens living in isolation to the point to where they have no other familys around, on a daily basis, to see where they fall in the normal struggles of teen / parent relationships.They seem to single themselves out, thinking their parents are extreme in their ways/ methods of dishing out the disipline. I just wrote to a girl bout a week ago, who was worried about her Mom sayin "You kids are KILLING Me", You gonna be the death of me, Your gonna put me in my grave. My God, every teen on my block heard this on a weekly basis. You teens of today dont allow your parents to be HUMAN half the time, and consider a raised voice abused (not your fault though) This "Programming" is by design and has been going on since the 80's.Oh , I KNOW, w/o a doubt , Ill get flamed for saying that but whether " you" think Im right or wrong doesnt change your situation. Every family's teen I KNEW back in the day, coulda used the word "toxic" describing their family's dynamic by todays "perpetual victim goal" standards. Now, of course there are extremes in both mental and phyiscal abusing by parents, no doubt, but alotta of the arguing, disageeing about kurfue, who your dating, the company your keeping, your privacy issues, how much of your time spent doing chores, home work, and I could keep listing for the next 5 min , are normal occurences EVERY TEEN,including myself, endured during the 7 yr period. Your gonna encounter toxic ppl the rest of your life, some times on a daily basis and your job, family, friends,all will play a role as to how you are able to COPE w / the inevitable, and all areas of your life will suffer , each affecting the other in a negative way, and it will ALL DEPEND on how your CHOOSE to respond. Remember life is 10% of what is happening TO you, and 90% is HOW you respond to it.Now, Im not so insensitive or niave to realise that some of you face a daily barrage of parental (we called it lecturing) that can get outta hand and often DOES and that can make for a miserable existence and with no job/$$$, having to take it day in /out can get it to, I GET THAT...But, how your respond is YOUR CHOICE. Now the physical, is alittle more "fine lined". EVERYBODY, 5-18 got spanked in my day. Learning there are consequences for your actions EARLY made for a better ability to deal with adversitys as a teen. Now, beating a child, leaving welps/ marks, excess swelling NO...Hell, i got paddled in school usually 10-12 times a yr. Most think that only instills fear. it DOES... intially....But, you begin to realise that how you behaved was wrong and that ya cant live this life with no boundarys. Teens today are living that way and their absolutely miserable, making unreasonable demands, expecting perfection outta everyone but themselves. Most teens in my day, by age 25 , were GRATEFUL for the restrictions /boundarys put on them. The ones that didnt were VERY easy to point out. No job, coke/heroin addict, no family, friends, homeless shelters, jail. Like I say, I cant know what degree your parents are being a PAIN (we used to say a drag) but please consider the ole "go along to get along" plan till your better equipped to have $$$ to be on your own. Please consider what I said about Mom and read up on it. OK... Fame away!..LOL

Hey , I am the same girl who wrote the main post .

And my mother yelled again and its affecting my mental health .

And i know her menopause has occurred 3 years ago . So , I don't think that's the problem. She was just the kid who had struggled a lot in her younger years .

But I am not like any other teens , I am the ideal girl in my school . My teachers used to give my example to others . My mother raised us like 80s kids with beatings (for just cutting a strand of my hair at 8 or 9 yo .) She has beaten me till last month for just telling truth (that my sister is sitting in front of me and I can't have any cool air because of it . )

Even my father had beaten me for just siblings fight .

I know that I never talked back to them even if it is their mistake .

I never had a boyfriend , never stayed out after school , never played with neighbour's children , never talked to boys .

I have kept up with all the restrictions even then I am feeling tortured like this . What's my problem ??? That I can't wake up on my own . And it has happened only yesterday and today . Before that I woke up at 7 a.m. daily .

Now please give me some advise to wake up.