please help please

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two minutes ago i was crying in the shower because i kept thinking of all the things im not. today has been a very shitty day for me mentally and almost every thing ive come across keeps reminding myself of what im not. i hate myself for being so introverted, so closed up that i cant hold a non awkward conversation with people i care about. i hate myself for not being braver. for not being better. smarter. skinnier. more caring. many things. i am spiralling and please, i have started to consider leaving and it is scaring me. please, please, leave a reply with the reasons i should not go. right now i am hyperventilating and my hair is still soapy and i can hear my heartbeat and please please please leave a reply please

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