What's the point I keep telling my friends how I feel? they don't even care maybe for a while but then they don't care after they think I'm "fine". What's the point I tell my parents about my depression if they would simply not care? My dad would just tell me something about the Bible and my mother would not even listen to me. I hate to be like this and feel like this but I can't help it if I could make it stop I would but my thoughts always overpower me. I just don't want to tell people how I feel because I'm scared everyone will just see me as a broken toy. People would say you don't look depressed but always those days when I'm at my happiest it always hits harder at night all the feelings and bad thought telling me I don't deserve happiness. I'm just so exhausted everyday trying my best knowing my best would never be good enough. I just don't know what to do or what to feel anymore. Usually when I'm at my lowest and think about suicide it all feels like a dream the next day it almost doesn't feel real but then it happens again and again. I just can't deal anymore. I feel so selfish telling people I'm having a bad day or feelings sad because there are people dying and I'm the one feelings depressed.