Please reply I need help

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Ok, let me get straight into it.

I am a 10 year old that probably has depression. I say probably because I am not sure.

I have took MILLIONS of depression tests and all of them say "Severe Depression" or "Mild Depression".

As of now, nobody but me has a clue about this. My dad is giving me so much anxiety though because I don't know if he knows. He never mentions it. But we both know he is an electronic expert.

Let me tell you more about my "depression" because thats the first thing I need help with.

I HAVE self-harmed before and I have suicidal thoughts. But that doesn't count for now. I've attempted knocking myself out by punching the back of my head or holding my breath. I also attempt to starve myself but always end up eating SOMETHING (I don't do this as often). I like to search self harm so I can see bloody wrists. When I feel sadistic I tend to draw mass murders, blood and bones, or a killer next to a body with white eyes or no eyes. This only happened once, but I had a scenario in my head that a therapist was telling the story of someone who committed suicide and I was enjoying the hell out of it. If that was real I probably would've enjoyed it too, but not shown it. I also always have a one sided opinion battle with my parents, which ends in a strong slap in the face or the belt. So I go to my room and create a bunch of fake supportive people.

Now for my "Anxiety from Dad"

Since you know I like to search up bloody wrists...I don't know if he knows about it. I have also went to something like a social media. He knew I created an account and messaged people but thats all he said, so I don't know if he knows what it is (Its Quotev btw). He also might be reading this right now. Im on incognito though and I highly doubt he would visit this site. If anyone knows about the app Family Link please help me out and explain what he can see because I am dying on the inside. Every time I think of it I just want to scream and cry and then die.

Thats it. I also want to say that I have been exposed to some things thanks to undersupervision. If you have any questions on that then you can ask. Bye I guess...

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