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Polyamours Trouble

Okay basically im in a Polyamours relationship with my Bestfriends and since alot of things are happening ive been watching my little siblings all day and night myself and my mental health is Declining ALOT because Of things that my mom and dad do and i dont want to bother my friends because i dont wanna Make them feel bad and worry about me So i keep quiet kinda but since im constantly watching my little siblings i can't talk to them alot so their alot closer then i am And when they talk they use Nicknames and are Happy And i dont know whats happening And I feel left out and like im kinda not in the relationship at all but they do tell me they love me and all that but All my relationships Have been awkward Because i dont know what to do and im very paranoid so ill kinda be distant And im also kinda Afraid to tell them anything And whenever i talk to them i feel like i make them sad or mad so yeah...bye