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Pornography

I'm a married man, I've been married 20 years, I've recently got into watching pornography while my wife is in bed, the problem is is that I'm masturbating at least twice every night because of it, my wife and I have not had sex for weeks and weeks, she asks but I keep putting her off. Tonight she asked me if I am having an affair. I know i should come clean but I'm really scared to. And on top of that our sex life is not as exciting as that in the films etc i watch. What should i do?

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Re: Pornography

I don't know what the reason is, the pornography is just so exciting, the women do everything, and the men all seem to have massive penises. My wife and i aren't very adventurous. We have never even done oral sex on each other. I even wish I was bigger for her, can't believe I'm admitting this by I'm only 4 inches erect. The people in the films are just so good at it. What can I do?

I’m wondering if there a reason you’ve been avoiding sex? It sounds like you prefer masturbating to having sex with your wife.


As a woman, I know that some women don’t take it well when they find out their boyfriend or husband watches porn. Personally, I watch porn and I know my husband does and I don’t care. It’s natural to be aroused by other people’s sexual adventures, especially when the acts performed feel more exciting than what you’d normally do.


I understand not wanting to address the issue but if she feels like you’re having an affair, that means you’ve ignored her so much that she’s questioning your love and loyalty. You owe it to her to be honest. Tell her that you’ve been watching porn late at night and masturbating. And ask her if there’s anything new she wants to try, or is willing to try in bed.

It sounds lame, but my husband and I make a list of maybe 50 different sexual acts, printed two copies, and then we sat across from each other and checked the “i” box for interested, the “w” box for willing to try and the “n” box for not interested.

We were surprised by how much we were both eager to try.

Again, it might be lame but maybe you just need to tell her that you want to spice things up and ask her what she’s willing to try.