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Pressure from self comparison with sister // pre exam stress

My first problem is my violin exam, I have a violin exam soon in a week which is extremely important but I am not prepared enough, and I am super worried that I won’t be able to pass the exam. It’s not a matter of relaxing, as I genuinely am not ready for it.


Moreover, I feel extremely pressured over constant comparison with my younger sister, both by others and by myself. As she is younger, there is more pressure on me to do better than her, which is a burden that I (unnecessarily) put on myself. Others casually compare us, and it is extremely stressful. I have to try to be smarter than her, be skinnier, and it’s so hard...

My younger sister is taking the same exam but is doing much better, even my teacher said that I would likely fail the exam, whilst she would most probably get distinction (the top grade). Our relationship is slowly getting worse. 


I feel like i’m really messed up. There’s nothing much wrong with my life, especially considering the current situation with COVID and BLM and how many others have way larger problems than mine. I shouldn’t be feeling so sad and should be more grateful for my life.


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Re: Pressure from self comparison with sister // pre exam stress

Hi Miss Pressure. Why don't you try affirming how wonderful of a person you are in the mirror everyday. Write down one good quality about yourself everyday and review it ever so often. Everybody has their own insecurities. You might be surprised to know that your sister also envy some qualities that you have. Personally, I suffered from an unhealthy comparison my mother did to me with all my friends so I used to have this unhealthy obsession to be better than everyone of my friends. Can you imagine the frustration that leads? Because the truth is, when you start comparing and competing to be better than someone else, you are only putting unnecessary stress on yourself. I learned it the hard way after so many broken friendships and you don't want this to happen to you. I think the best way to deal with it is to control your thoughts and redirect it to positive things about you. I know its difficult to have to listen to other people when they start comparing you with your sister but be strong and ignore them. seek to improve yourself not because you are aspiring to be better than your sister but because you are aspiring to be a better you. I hope you feel better about your situation soon and good luck on that exam.