I don't usually do this kind of thing, in fact this is the first time I'm doing this. At this very moment, time and place, the urge to put all "this" thoughts appeared spontaneously. The world really is full of mystery, waiting to be unfold by someone. What is the purpose of all this? Why did we even got born into this world? Anyone have the ability to answer it without even batting an eye. Religions, Organizations and Entitled People have their own answers too, which is the main basis of the answers of some people. But what really is the correct answer to that? Satisfaction? You know, some say that "anger" is the most dangerous emotion that a human have. Decisions are badly affected when you're angry. Thinking has become passive. The only way of getting anger out of your mind is by putting all of it into something who triggered your anger. Yes, anger is a very deadly emotion and we have no way of preventing it. But for me, it is the opposite. Happiness is the most dangerous emotion there is. Since our birth until at this very moment, our sole purpose of doing everything we do is to satisfy our needs or in other words, to be happy. Unlike anger, NOTHING can stop our happiness, once we reached our goal, automatically, without us even knowing, our subconscious finds or craves for another goal which is a lot more better than our past goal, that'll lead to becoming unhappy and tired of the goal we once craved. It's a never ending cycle of life. To be happy, we're doing a lot of things, willingly or unwillingly. There's no way to stop this cycle. Being content with everything you got is easy. But for how long? Eventually, we get tired of things we once wished. Why is it programmed like that? Are all humans just the same? Getting a life is practically explained to us, two humans intertwining to produce another human. Everybody knows how it works, but what's the next part after dying? Many people has claimed to see or experience the life after death, but I know that's all bullshit. It's their subconscious that's making them experience it, the collection of all the memories and information that they witnessed throughout their whole lives. Is the brain really is the one who's doing the thinking, the nervous system? Once our heart stops, a few minutes are given to all our organs until they stop. Where do we go after death? Where does our mind go? What is the next place? I don't hate religions, I am a Roman Catholic myself, I even studied at a seminary in the past. I also have friends from other religions. All the religions may differ at something but they all have one main plot. That is they're so called "God" They each have a different story of proving that their "God" has to be respected and worshiped. Why did someone make a story about the God. Back when the people are still simple minded, that their only purpose was to survive. Do they have the same God that we have now? Who started making stories about God? What's their purpose? For me? We are all the "Gods". We make our own fate, do our own thinking, what can be more magical than the thought of "we are just another thing that's riding and controlling a thing that's covered in a lump of meat" Ever since I was a child, I thought that all my actions were just "normal", that everyone around me is capable of doing. Being very observant of all the things that's around me, having a typical smartness, and the undying curiosity of things I've yet to experience. I feel that I've rushed everything on my life. Damn this curiosity of mine! I always end up doing the things that piqued my interest. I'm a 21 year old boy but my experience in life has far surpassed the typical 40 year old man. Can you feel my melancholy through the past sentence? A 20 years gap of experience, another words for another 20 years of nothingness. Nothing excites me anymore. I no longer find the things I used to be passionate about interesting. I've become really tired of everything. I'm like a programmed robot, doing what's necessary and what's the right thing every single day. The only thing that helps me get through the day is the unraveling of my own body, mind and soul. There's this undeniable urge that I kept on feeling to discover the sole purpose of my life. I feel like I'm inside a humongous container full of dirt and weed, passionately, and diligently cleaning it. Every time I clean a part of it, I find the surroundings getting even more dirty. It's like after I've unravel or discover a part of my own universe, a lot of questions appear. It's like a very shallow, clear lake at the surface but after diving into it, and getting deeper into it, the more I realize that I'm still very far from the bottom. I have a lot more to put in this "letter" but my hands are getting really heavy. It's a side effect of the drug I took earlier. I'll read all of this again and continue to write about everything and anything some other day. I feel slightly relieved after writing all this shit. Not because I've gotten rid of a burdensome thought but the opposite, I feel relieved because I feel like I've sorted out all this mixed thoughts that's been going through my mind for some time. I've learned and understood life better. This is only the start, I still got a lot more unraveling to do. PS: If someone managed to read this shit that I've made, please leave some of your thoughts. It will be a great help and I will appreciate it a lot. :DPS: I'm very sorry if my English is bad and if I've also created grammatical errors. English is my second language so please bear with me XDPS: "Always choose to prolong anything and everything. Never rush it. The future can always change."