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Rant because the world is just pissing me off

Time Spent- 20m
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why did god have to make me this way? why do I have to be the one still standing? why do I have to be the one that goes through it alone? why do I have to be like this? why can't anyone seem to help me? why does everyone not see my worth? why don't I fit into the box like everyone else?


I am always alone. when I came into this world I knew I would be mostly alone. I am wise and an old soul. I knew that this life would be hard. I knew I was made for greatness. I know how that sounds but for as long as I could remember I had this feeling that I had an important job to do in this life. normal stuff that were challenging for others I worked hard at and just pushed through. I just don't let anything stop me. And in all my insights I knew that my biggest challenge would be me.


well now I am here. against myself. fighting to live another day and I am alone and scared. cause I don't know if I am going to win this fight. I need a savoir and no one else is coming to save me. so I guess this one is on me.


But it just pisses me off because I always have to save myself. I am 16, I have had to stop myself from killing myself five times and I first tried when I was 12. I had to tell myself to stop. I had to save my mind from itself. i had to tell myself no. It's always been just me. It's always been me against the world and I am so dang tired of it. Why do others get to be saved and have people that care about them and I don't? I am just so upset and mad. And then I can't even do the stuff I want because i am not 18 yet. Like why? I probably sound like such a baby, I know there are people that have it way worse.


It's just why do I have to be trapped in a world I don't belong in? I can't even kill myself because my mom has decided that the best way to deal with a suicidal person is by tell them that if they kill themselves she will kill herself. and as bad as it sounds, I'm just like just let me die in f*cking peace or help me!


I don't know anymore. I think about different universes while my peers think about what clothes look best on them. I'm just to different to belong and not worth anyone's time. Even my school system gave up on me because when I was younger I had dyslexia and appearently that makes me a waste of time. And since no one has decided that I am not a waste of time they must be right. before I kill myself, I'm just going to do some dangerous stuff because you only live once lol.






Thank you for reading my rant :)