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Rantings of a middle age wife

I love my husband. I wish that was all I had to say. I love him and I will never leave him. I don’t even want to. Just sometimes I want to run.

But I can’t help but think of R. R has been my crush for years. Its gotten worse since my husband and I stopped having sex.

It hurts so bad not being touched of desired. Health and stress took intimacy away.

Now I have these fantasies of R. The last person I should crush on. But the fantasy seems so real at times. I want him so badly. But I am unattainable. He is unattainable. Just fantasy.

I am lost. I am hurt. I am lonely. I am scared.

But no one has a clue.