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i had a lot of shit happen in my life. i saw my mom and dad get attacked and jumped by a gang. at that point i saw my dad with his head cracked open by a brick. another time i was raped by a close family member. i was abused physically and emotionally by both my parents. i was choked by one of my closest friends in grade school. a lot of this caused me to have many disorders. when i was being abused by my mother i didn’t have anyone or anything. one night i was left home by my self with my sister. when i was with her at that point i didn’t know what was going on. i’m not perfect and in probably going to hell because of this and i want to die now but i touched her private part. i regret this so much man. i want to die. i cry myself to sleep every night thinking that i would ever do this. i feel inhuman. and i feel like the same as my family member who raped me. i love my sister very much and i wish i never did that. but i can’t forget. and will never forget. i don’t know how to feel about myself anymore. please if someone can help please.