This is a repost, but I really need help. Okay, so, for starters, I am the kind of kid in school who gets straight A’s, never gets in trouble, and is very passive. I was put in the gifted program ever since the 1st grade. I am in 5th grade and I have the reading level of a 12th grader. There is always this expectation for me that’s above the stratosphere. I just want to be a kid. Every day, when I try to concentrate, they expect for me to keep up, but I feel like the words pass me by a mile a minute and my chest feels like it’s going to explode, and all I want to do is bash my head against the wall until everything in my brain is against the wall crushed up like hamburger meat. I can never express any of my emotions because my mom says “It’s puberty, don’t worry.” Which I know isn’t true because for one, I am smarter than her, and two, I feel.. more. I don’t even feel like myself anymore. All of my sadness and stress has turned into anger. I’m afraid to retaliate because if I do, everything in me will explode and I will end up screaming at the top of my lungs, which has never happened to me. I just want to throw a temper tantrum like a toddler and destroy everything in my room. I also hate children so much. My soul feels like it’s slowly souring like a grape. I wish every kid in my school would just perish underneath my wrath. Adults never even listens to my issues, that’s why if any adult does anything slightly annoying, I want to snap at them and beat them to a pulp with a chair. Nobody knows, though, everybody thinks I am the most innocent, sweet, amazing soul in the world. I am gods Mary Sue. I hate myself so much, too. Breaking my Barbie dolls doesn’t feel like enough, I need more, except I don’t want to end up like one of those psychotic children who get taken to alternative schools, but I just, I can’t. I don’t know what else I can do. I feel as if I’m a rubber band stretched so tight, that it’s about to snap, or fly out of control and flick somebody’s eye out. I hate like.. everybody. Ever. Help me please.