When i was a kid i always wanted to do this one thing. And nothing else. I feel ashamed of telling everyone what i want to do because i know they wont believe in me and I don't believe in myself too. I didnt think about it as a serious topic. Until i cried one day about the topic, and i realized it was the saddest day of my life. Thats how i realized i really wanted to do it. but i cant. i have alot to risk if i do it. my childhood, My religion, the highschool years of having fun, id risk all of that. I dont have anyone to support me, and its the only problem i havent told anyone yet. im a really outgoing person. i tell everyone my problems and secrets. and i find it confusing that i cant even tell this one thing i want to do to someone at all.