It’s your birthday at the end of this week. I wish I could give you a card or a hug or even say happy birthday. I haven’t seen you in a while and that parts hard. The stupid pandemic has changed so many things. I have good days when I realize my fantasies for you are all in my head. And that I should let this go because the reality of you is not the fantasy version of you in the fantasy version of you as what I long for. The fantasy helps me through my day sometimes. So I miss you but I don’t really miss you if that makes any sense make sense to me at least for now and my weird mind.