My parents didn't want me. Now they do because they are old and feel bad but I don’t want them. My son left me. He snuck out in the middle of the night and never came home. My boss is practically torturing me into flipping out so they can fire me. Nobody wants me around except my daughter. Is that why I have her? To keep me alive? Because I’m sure if there is a higher power they know I’d have been dead long ago if it wasn’t for her. I fucking hate being alive. I’m disgusting. When my kids were babies I laid on my kitchen floor and thought about killing the three of us. That was 15-16 years ago. I don’t think that anymore. I just know I’ll never be better. I’ve been like this since I was 12. I’m 39. I can’t believe I’ve made it this long.