Saudade: Missing something you've never had.
Like the life I miss but never experienced. I imagine how things would be if I grew up differently, had different parents. If I wasn't stupid in high school and didn't let him ruin me. Maybe I'd be like those girls with their perfect bodies, perfect lives posted on Facebook updating their friends with the next best thing going for them. I know we all go through something, I know there is always someone out there who has it worse than I do, way worse. I have a roof over my head and food in my stomach, but I feel very empty. Like all of myself that I gave away I'll never get back. I don't remember who I was before I started giving everything away, so even if I found the broken pieces I wouldn't know how to put them back together.