I'm at home for two weeks and the first week has felt like an eternity of misery.This takes me straight back to quarantine where my eating disorder started, the loneliness triggering me to find some control in this confusing place. Right now no one in my family is speaking to me besides my mum, all my siblings hate me and for what? I have no clue, my dad hasn't spoken to me for 3 months now or maybe more and above all of this food has become an even bigger enemy.I hate this so fucking much. I hear them laughing, eating, talking, dancing and enjoying life, meanwhile I'm crying, starving or purging stuck on my own with nobody, contemplating everyday how to end this pain... I sometimes wonder, If I was gone would they care, and i mean truly care, because I truly believe they wouldn't care about my death as much as they would about one another. This feels like hell.