January is not the best month for me as always. Last year, I was so stressed about things happening around me and so this year. What's with January? Lol! I must say that I started this year 2021 with a roller coaster emotion. I'm genuinely happy with my friends but when I go to work, I feel depressed. I'm thinking of quitting my job because I don't see my self growing anymore. But the thought of no back up plan makes everything worst. Considering the fact that I'm the breadwinner too, quitting at this time is not the best option. I can't work properly with all these thoughts that is why my performance suffered a lot this month. Day goes by and it's getting worst. There are times that I can't handle the feeling that I started being rude to my mom. I blame others and God with my own thoughts. I can't control myself from crying. I can't find light with things happening to me. Then one day, I woke up and suddenly realized that I can't be like this any longer. So I started to acknowledge the fact that I'm not okay. I organized my thoughts and prayed to God to help me understand the situation. I'm better now and getting better everyday. Though I still snap, but it's nothing compared to how I snap before. I just want to share my story. And to whoever takes time to read this, I just wanna say that it's okay not to be okay. If you feel sad or depress, try to acknowledge that fact then heal. Never stay on that feeling for a long time because there's more to life for you. I remember a friend once said "You just need to accept that you're drowning so you can start saving yourself." Bring that thought with you and you'll get better.