dying seems kind of scary. everything in life gone within a second. nothing really matters because literally everybody dies it doesn't matter wether your dirt poor or your the richest man in the world everybody dies. im an atheist so I don’t really know if an afterlife really exists and I’m also scared of seeing the ones I love die Aswell&nbsp;

dying seems kind of scary. everything in life gone within a second. nothing really matters because literally everybody dies it doesn't matter wether your dirt poor or your the richest man in the world everybody dies. im an atheist so I don’t really know if an afterlife really exists and I’m also scared of seeing the ones I love die Aswell 

I see everything as a journey of consciousness... may it be a dream in a night sleep... or reading an online article on internet for 15mins... it's a trip... And same is life a collection of trip... We may often get trapped in the materialistic aspects and start collecting - this is the action of Ego and it leads to the fear of losing the known and the collected... Once you get into a free-flowing mindset, everything becomes clear and creative! :D Let go of all your beliefs and dogmas which constitutes the psychological security and support and enjoy the free living...

I see everything as a journey of consciousness... may it be a dream in a night sleep... or reading an online article on internet for 15mins... it's a trip... And same is life a collection of trip... We may often get trapped in the materialistic aspects and start collecting - this is the action of Ego and it leads to the fear of losing the known and the collected... Once you get into a free-flowing mindset, everything becomes clear and creative! :D Let go of all your beliefs and dogmas which constitutes the psychological security and support and enjoy the free living... 

Re: Scared

I wish I could be afraid more. I’m autistic &amp; was molded to be tough. I have the risk taker gene but fight to control it. As a child I hunted at night. A predator started hunting me. I took it out. I was in third grade. Fear doesn’t seem to register. I used to free dive. At about age 9 a large shark circled me. I slowly worked to shore it would zoom at me. I’d stare at it &amp; it would veer off. I just real calmly got to the shallows. It swam off. I hauled ass. It sped back. I was out. Someone said it was a bull shark. About 6-7 feet. On land I’m dangerous. In water I’m slow. I have a fear of deep water. Oh I go in the ocean. My kids must stay shallow. I stand deeper &amp; watch. But no ocean diving. I also quit surfing. So I can have fear. I’ve almost died a bunch due to a disease. My heart stopped once &amp; I seemed to be in Heaven. I knew people. Same thing a second time. So weird. I woke up talking about people that had died when I was a kid. Recently I almost died. Renal failure. I spent over 5 hrs crawling for help. Ears stopped working. Eyes turned on &amp; off. It was so weird. I seemed to be dying &amp; a smiling angel appeared. It smiled &amp; kept waving me forward. I followed. It led me to help. So weird. I can’t explain it. Paramedics thought all their instruments were broke. Pulse too low to register. I know because my relative works with them. The ambulance crew couldn’t start an IV. Hospital couldn’t save me. Sent me to another state. I have no clue how I’m alive. One time I thought I was in Heaven. Before going under I was laughing &amp; telling jokes to my wife. The doctor got me alone. He said I told you to say goodby to everyone. I’m going to try to save you but your going to die. You need to tell them goodby. I laughed at him &amp; said I’m a child of God. Jesus loves me. Only God decides if &amp; when I die. So I smiled &amp; they took me off. I was 23. They said I’d be dead by 24; I’m almost 60. They just keep adding years every time they are wrong. As a little boy my family was in a wreck. Everyone died but me. As an adult after Church I slowed for a red light. I looked up &amp; a drunk hit us doing about 80 after swerving 3.lanes &amp; flooring it trying to hit the breaks. My car hit a telephone pole after going airborne from the large truck &amp; a hill. Spare tire shoving me into steering wheel. No backseat or trunk left. Both sides caved in. Front crushes. Axles broke. I fought my way out. Three men couldn’t open my wife’s door. I pried it open like the hulk. I toted her to the ambulance when it arrived. And my tiny son. At the hospital my sons numbers started crashing. The doctor told us to say goodby. My wife; two Church friends who’d rushed over, &amp; I prayed. I begged God to spare my son. You can choose not to believe, but instantly his numbers flew back up. A nurse rushed in. Ran off screaming for a doctor. The doctor ran in. They were amazed. Now I’m not going to tell you I’m special. That God just answers my prayers. I’ve lived thru hell. But I love God. As a tiny boy my parents gave me away. The kind people who took me were killed in that wreck. Right before the wreck she said Jesus loves me. Who is Jesus? So one day I asked Jesus into my heart. He entered like a thunder bolt &amp; changed the whole way the world looks &amp; sounds for me. Sure. Maybe I’m imagining all that. Who knows. But it seems as real as everything else. By the way I have 7 degrees; tested as a genius in college; designed buildings, &amp; built stuff for space before retiring. Anerisms have screwed me up but I was as sane as they get before the anerisms. Still am; just slow &amp; confused now. So I’d say Heaven is real. You know what’s weird. No shit. My step dad went on a call &amp; saved my real dads life. Gave him a few more months. He gave me away as a tiny for not looking Spanish. I look Scandinavian. Blond hair &amp; blue eyes sentenced me to a childbood without my birth parents. Well I tried to go see my dad before he died. He was afraid. He said I died. I said I know my step dad saved you. He said when he died he went to a dark scary place. He was an atheist. Didn’t believe in religion. I went back with a cross to spread the word &amp; try to save him. He threatened to kill my children for trespassing. No kidding. He was afraid of the cancer; but who threatens sweet children who said they loved him? He really didn’t want to hear about God. I just found it odd that as an atheist when his heart stopped he thought he went to a dark scary place; then was pulled back by step dad. I tried to tell him God was giving him a last chance. All he had to do was confess his sins to God &amp; ask Jesus in his heart. (You wanna talk weird. A spider literally just fell on my arm &amp; I squished it. How odd. Also. I’m old &amp; normally sleep from 8pm till 5am. I had trouble sleeping last night. I can’t sleep at all tonight. I’ve had preachers tell me God uses me to spread his word. I don’t know about that; but I have helped some people out of dark places it seems. So maybe I can’t skeep because He wanted me to talk to you? Just don’t expect miracles &amp; prayers answered. Your here to be tested. Do you want to go there? If he revealed himself to everyone it wouldn’t be a test. Faith is having doubt but still choosing to love. As Jesus hung on the cross he asked God why he forsake him basically. See Jesus had to have that one moment of doubt. He was basically a super hero. But to die for us he had to die as a man. So Jesus had doubt. But he still forgave his killers &amp; wanted to save all of us. Still willing to die to take your sins. God then accepted that as payment. Only Jesus is perfect. We are ducked up sinners. We fail endlessly. But we must keep trying. Churches are full of hypocrites trying to judge others. Many preachers are scum who spread hate of gays or cheat. Even mollest kids. There’s many good people in Church &amp; preachers too. I’m just warning you. New converts often get ran off by ass holes in the Church or angry preachers trying to judge others. I worked with two preachers. One was a racist who hated gays &amp; the homeless. I was friends with the other but he cheated endlessly on his third wife &amp; liked porn. So don’t expect anyone to be perfect. I’m not. Read the Bible. It’s really simple. Try to love. Try to forgive. Try to care. Open your heart. But don’t be a pushover. Your not here to be taken advantage of or mistreated. I hope you find God. Skip the Old Testament. Just read the New Testament. Here’s the deal. Different witnesses traveled with Jesus. Some wrote books about it. They weren’t all hanging out with him every minute. So you will here some things differently. They scattered to avoid death. Wrote their memories in totally different places. So let’s make up an example. If Jesus is on a dock &amp; says something. The guy right by Jesus heard it first hand. Let’s say he says Jesus said to eat bacon &amp; eggs with juice every morning. He tells that to a guy who was at the end of the dock that night over a fire. Then that guy tells someone by a flock of sheep the next day. He says Jesus says to eat eggs &amp; juice for breakfast. The next day he tells someone on a trail that Jesus says to eat eggs &amp; juice. He walks up the hill &amp; tells someone Jesus says to drink juice. All of them write books. You have to figure out which one was actually by Jesus that day. I tested a genius in college. It’s easy for me. But I’ve had preachers ask me to explain things in the Bible. I’d ask questions &amp; they’d realize I was probably right &amp; they’d never realized it. To keep it simple. If you know it’s wrong. Try not to do it. If you learn it’s wrong pray &amp; appologize for having done it. Then try to stop doing it. You will fail endlessly. But keep trying. I was once asked in a Church to explain the path to Heaven. Someone had just talked about how satan gets us lost. So I took their path idea &amp; added to it. The path to Heaven is a narrow path. All the devil has to do is get you to step an inch in the wrong direction. You won’t realize it till your miles off the path &amp; lost. I added but I carry the Holy Spirit in me. When I realize I’m lost. Even in the thickest darkest woods. All I have to do is pray; apologize; &amp; ask God to help me. The thin shiny path is moved right to me &amp; placed under me feet no matter where I am. Now I just have to pay attention; watch the line, &amp; start walking forward again. God created everything. He wants me to make it back home. No one on earth can judge me. Only Jesus has that job. Good luck. God Bless. I love you

I wish I could be afraid more. I’m autistic & was molded to be tough. I have the risk taker gene but fight to control it. As a child I hunted at night. A predator started hunting me. I took it out. I was in third grade. Fear doesn’t seem to register. I used to free dive. At about age 9 a large shark circled me. I slowly worked to shore it would zoom at me. I’d stare at it & it would veer off. I just real calmly got to the shallows. It swam off. I hauled ass. It sped back. I was out. Someone said it was a bull shark. About 6-7 feet. On land I’m dangerous. In water I’m slow. I have a fear of deep water. Oh I go in the ocean. My kids must stay shallow. I stand deeper & watch. But no ocean diving. I also quit surfing. So I can have fear.    I’ve almost died a bunch due to a disease. My heart stopped once & I seemed to be in Heaven. I knew people. Same thing a second time. So weird. I woke up talking about people that had died when I was a kid.    Recently I almost died. Renal failure. I spent over 5 hrs crawling for help. Ears stopped working. Eyes turned on & off. It was so weird. I seemed to be dying & a smiling angel appeared. It smiled & kept waving me forward. I followed. It led me to help. So weird. I can’t explain it. Paramedics thought all their instruments were broke. Pulse too low to register. I know because my relative works with them. The ambulance crew couldn’t start an IV. Hospital couldn’t save me. Sent me to another state. I have no clue how I’m alive. One time I thought I was in Heaven. Before going under I was laughing & telling jokes to my wife. The doctor got me alone.    He said I told you to say goodby to everyone. I’m going to try to save you but your going to die. You need to tell them goodby. I laughed at him & said I’m a child of God. Jesus loves me. Only God decides if & when I die. So I smiled & they took me off. I was 23. They said I’d be dead by 24; I’m almost 60. They just keep adding years every time they are wrong.    As a little boy my family was in a wreck. Everyone died but me. As an adult after Church I slowed for a red light. I looked up & a drunk hit us doing about 80 after swerving 3.lanes & flooring it trying to hit the breaks. My  car hit a telephone pole after going airborne from the large truck & a hill. Spare tire shoving me into steering wheel. No backseat or trunk left. Both sides caved in. Front crushes. Axles  broke. I fought my way out. Three men couldn’t open my wife’s door. I pried it open like the hulk. I toted her to the ambulance when it arrived. And my tiny son.    At the hospital my sons numbers started crashing. The doctor told us to say goodby. My wife; two Church friends who’d rushed over, & I prayed. I begged God to spare my son. You can choose not to believe, but instantly his numbers flew back up. A nurse rushed in. Ran off screaming for a doctor. The doctor ran in. They were amazed.    Now I’m not going to tell you I’m special. That God just answers my prayers. I’ve lived thru hell. But I love God. As a tiny boy my parents gave me away. The kind people who took me were killed in that wreck. Right before the wreck she said Jesus loves me. Who is Jesus?   So one day I asked Jesus into my heart. He entered like a thunder bolt & changed the whole way the world looks & sounds for me. Sure. Maybe I’m imagining all that. Who knows. But it seems as real as everything else. By the way I have 7 degrees; tested as a genius in college; designed buildings, & built stuff for space before retiring. Anerisms have screwed me up but I was as sane as they get before the anerisms. Still am; just slow & confused now.    So I’d say Heaven is real. You know what’s weird. No shit. My step dad went on a call & saved my real dads life. Gave him a few more months. He gave me away as a tiny for not looking Spanish. I look Scandinavian. Blond hair & blue eyes sentenced me to a childbood without my birth parents. Well I tried to go see my dad before he died. He was afraid. He said I died. I said I know my step dad saved you. He said when he died he went to a dark scary place. He was an atheist. Didn’t believe in religion. I went back with a cross to spread the word & try to save him. He threatened to kill my children for trespassing. No kidding. He was afraid of the cancer; but who threatens sweet children who said they loved him? He really didn’t want to hear about God. I just found it odd that as an atheist when his heart stopped he thought he went to a dark scary place; then was pulled back by  step dad.    I tried to tell him God was giving him a last chance. All he had to do was confess his sins to God & ask Jesus in his heart. (You wanna talk weird. A spider literally just fell on my arm & I squished it. How odd. Also. I’m old & normally sleep from 8pm till 5am. I had trouble sleeping last night. I can’t sleep at all tonight. I’ve had preachers tell me God uses me to spread his word. I don’t know about that; but I have helped some people out of dark places it seems. So maybe I can’t skeep because He wanted me to talk to you? Just don’t expect miracles & prayers answered. Your here to be tested. Do you want to go there? If he revealed himself to everyone it wouldn’t be a test. Faith is having doubt but still choosing to love.     As Jesus hung on the cross he asked God why he forsake him basically. See Jesus had to have that one moment of doubt. He was basically a super hero. But to die for us he had to die as a man. So Jesus had doubt. But he still forgave his killers & wanted to save all of us. Still willing to die to take your sins. God then accepted that as payment. Only Jesus is perfect. We are ducked up sinners. We fail endlessly. But we must keep trying.    Churches are full of hypocrites trying to judge others. Many preachers are scum who spread hate of gays or cheat. Even mollest kids. There’s many good people in  Church & preachers too. I’m just warning you. New converts often get ran off by ass holes in the Church or angry preachers trying to judge others. I worked with two preachers. One was a racist who hated gays & the homeless. I was friends with the other but he cheated endlessly on his third wife & liked porn. So don’t expect anyone to be perfect. I’m not.    Read the Bible. It’s really simple. Try to love. Try to forgive. Try to care. Open your heart. But don’t be a pushover. Your not here to be taken advantage of or mistreated.    I hope you find God. Skip the Old Testament. Just read the New Testament. Here’s the deal. Different witnesses traveled with Jesus. Some wrote books about it. They weren’t all hanging out with him every minute. So you will here some things differently. They scattered to avoid death. Wrote their memories in totally different places. So let’s make up an example. If Jesus is on a dock & says something. The guy right by Jesus heard it first hand. Let’s say he says Jesus said to eat bacon & eggs with juice every morning. He tells that to a guy who was at the end of the dock that night over a fire. Then that guy tells someone by a flock of sheep the next day. He says Jesus says to eat eggs & juice for breakfast. The next day he tells someone on a trail that Jesus says to eat eggs & juice. He walks up the hill & tells someone Jesus says to drink juice.    All of them write books. You have to figure out which one was actually by Jesus that day. I tested a genius in college. It’s easy for me. But I’ve had preachers ask me to explain things in the Bible. I’d ask questions & they’d realize I was probably right & they’d never realized it.    To keep it simple. If you know it’s wrong. Try not to do it. If you learn it’s wrong pray & appologize for having done it. Then try to stop doing it. You will fail endlessly. But keep trying.    I was once asked in a Church to explain the path to Heaven. Someone had just talked about how satan gets us lost. So I took their path idea & added to it. The path to Heaven is a narrow path. All the devil has to do is get you to step an inch in the wrong direction. You won’t realize it till your miles off the path & lost.    I added but I carry the Holy Spirit in me. When I realize I’m lost. Even in the thickest darkest woods. All I have to do is pray; apologize; & ask God to help me. The thin shiny path is moved right to me & placed under me feet no matter where I am. Now I just have to pay attention; watch the line, & start walking forward again. God created everything. He wants me to make it back home. No one on earth can judge me. Only Jesus has that job.    Good luck. God Bless. I love you