I am scared of going outside . It's not because of coronavirus . I was always scared when I went to school alone . I have to go tomorrow to collect my documents but I am really very scared . I don't know how to talk to people , how to converse , I am really a stupid girl . I am 18 even then I can't take any decision on my own . I feel like , i am the worst girl here.

I am scared of going outside . It's not because of coronavirus . I was always scared when I went to school alone . I have to go tomorrow to collect my documents but I am really very scared . I don't know how to talk to people , how to converse , I am really a stupid girl . I am 18 even then I can't take any decision on my own . I feel like , i am the worst girl here.

I’m afraid to go out. Have no immune system. There’s a pandemic. I hide in house as best I can. Except I have no home. I rent a tiny room from a woman who hates men. All I can afford. It’s that or a ditch. But my ex wife is very sick. She may die. One of my kids is very sick. He almost died. They need food. So I live on the least. I go out. But wisely. When is the least people there. How to stay away. Do not engage. I’m pretty &amp; smile. People like to talk. I walk away. Pandemic. Plus I don’t want to talk. N95. Sanitizer. Change clothes. Wash hands. I have very little. I stopped using sanitizer. Gave it to my kids. I just don’t touch my face. It’s a gamble. But if one of us has to die. I choose me. I’ll charge into the enemy while they bunker down. I’m disabled. Hard to lift those cheap waters. But I lift them. I’ll pay for days later. Autistic child only likes certain foods or won’t eat. Well F the virus. I will go to 20 stores to get him what he wants. Or he won’t eat. A large young man got mad. I went to 3 cities to find one of the 5 foods he eats. I was getting it all except one case This man got mad. Smarted off tried to shove me away. Found himself on the ground. I said I have a disabled child. He will eat nothing else. I stood in line with my mask on. You cut by everyone for one can. Here’s your one can. I rolled it down the aisle. I let him up. He left. All the other old people laughed. I’m nice. I’m sweet. But there’s a whole row of soup. My son only eats one. If I take it all eat something else. But I didn’t. I wanted too. But I left a case in case someone else has a disabled child. We’re all in the same war. We must help each other. But keep your hands off me, unless you want body slammed &amp; put in an arm bar. Cause you give me the virus; I die. Who gets his soup then? So you have to find a way. Don’t be body slamming 6’ 2” jack a$$es who won’t wear a mask &amp; cut in front of all the old people though. I’m very skilled. He could have killed me. Just caught me off guard. You touch me. I react if your a man. Now I watch for the loons. The thugs. The people who are convinced it’s all made up. If I see an angry looking a hole I just walk off. Circle back. If it’s all gone I keep shopping. My son needs me to make it back. I can’t be setting in jail cause a 60 yr old whipped sone muscular 26 yr old who thinks their invincible. Guess he found out not all old people are helpless. Maybe he thought I was young. I do look young. The virus is bring out both best &amp; worse in us. I hate when nice people try talk to me. I never want to talk to anyone. Especially now. Normally I’d try. But not right now. It’s OK to walk away from the nice people right now. I’ll mumble. Wave &amp; head off. Go back later. I hate when I’m almost there. What I’m looking for. Run off cause nice maskless person wants to chat. Come back. All gone.

I’m afraid to go out. Have no immune system. There’s a pandemic. I hide in house as best I can. Except I have no home. I rent a tiny room from a woman who hates men. All I can afford. It’s that or a ditch.    But my ex wife is very sick. She may die. One of my kids is very sick. He almost died. They need food. So I live on the least. I go out. But wisely. When is the least people there. How to stay away. Do not engage.     I’m pretty & smile. People like to talk. I walk away. Pandemic. Plus I don’t want to talk.     N95. Sanitizer. Change clothes. Wash hands. I have very little. I stopped using sanitizer. Gave it to my kids. I just don’t touch my face.    It’s a gamble. But if one of us has to die. I choose me. I’ll charge into the enemy while they bunker down. I’m disabled. Hard to lift those cheap waters. But I lift them. I’ll pay for days later. Autistic child only likes certain foods or won’t eat. Well F the virus. I will go to 20 stores to get him what he wants. Or he won’t eat.    A large young man got mad. I went to 3 cities to find one of the 5 foods he eats. I was getting it all except one case This man got mad. Smarted off tried to shove me away. Found himself on the ground. I said I have a disabled child. He will eat nothing else. I stood in line with my mask on. You cut by everyone for one can. Here’s your one can. I rolled it down the aisle. I let him up. He left. All the other old people laughed.     I’m nice. I’m sweet. But there’s a whole row of soup. My son only eats one. If I take it all eat something else. But I didn’t. I wanted too. But I left a case in case someone else has a disabled child. We’re all in the same war. We must help each other. But keep your hands off me, unless you want body slammed & put in an arm bar.    Cause you give me the virus; I die. Who gets his soup then?   So you have to find a way. Don’t be body slamming 6’ 2” jack a$$es who won’t wear a mask & cut in front of all the old people though. I’m very skilled. He could have killed me. Just caught me off guard. You touch me. I react if your a man.    Now I watch for the loons. The thugs. The people who are convinced it’s all made up.    If I see an angry looking a hole I just walk off. Circle back. If it’s all gone I keep shopping. My son needs me to make it back. I can’t be setting in jail cause a 60 yr old whipped sone muscular 26 yr old who thinks their invincible. Guess he found out not all old people are helpless.    Maybe he thought I was young. I do look young.    The virus is bring out both best & worse in us. I hate when nice people try talk to me. I never want to talk to anyone. Especially now. Normally I’d try. But not right now.    It’s OK to walk away from the nice people right now. I’ll mumble. Wave & head off. Go back later. I hate when I’m almost there. What I’m looking for. Run off cause nice maskless person wants to chat. Come back. All gone. 

Re: Scared stupid

As I read and respond to the many articles here, I noticed theres a uniqueness in every one, no matter how many are worded practically the same.I imagine being in each persons struggle, kind of give them a face from the past, draw on my exp, and those troubled, but unique souls Ive learned so much from over yrs, and I can tell ya, theres no "Worst", most stupid, trivial. Before computers,SO MANY necessary life lessons/coping skills/problem solving skills/social interacting skills were accomplished in person by Teens having to GO places having to deal w/ppl in ALL professions, be in awkward situations, naturally not having any exp.The Good Parents, let their kids make mistakes,let them suffer the consequences of their poor choices, and most of the time, they THANKED mom and dad for letting them go thru the exp, b/c it no doubt, made them a more independent person, ready to take on life in their 20s. NOW, practically EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! can be done online. Ive never seen a generation so socially ill equipped,underdeveloped, insecure about themselves, the world around them,to a point where paralying depression, anxiety, and the illnesses , w/ ever letter in the alphabet is used to describe these all the sudden, new to mankind, never seen/heard of in the past, diseases and illnesses that EVERYBODY under 30 seems to now have...Its called Isolation from life. Your a girl, biologically going thru major chemical changes anyway,add to that, your life, b4 covid, was likely being lived 85% in virtual form online,never having to face REAL lifes , REAL problems.Never getting any real sense of personal accomplishment, self pride 9the good kind) that builds self reliance. No , your not stupid, you havent even been given a CHANCE to be stupid yet..LOL. Your fear comes from facing the unknown.I see so many college kids on here today speaking of fears that my generation would have be voicing at 13 -14. Be willing to "appear dumb". I had to do it AT 35..LOL My life, as I knew it ended in 95 becuase of computers, had to RE invent myself so I was DUMB about the internet,couldnt talk the talk, had to ask STUPID questions, take advice from ppl MUCH younger than me, accept new social 'norms" I was very awkward at, and was even ridiculed for. BUT... it was a necessary "growth" period I had to go thru, though painful,it built SELF confidence, just like at EVERY teen yr I went thru did. If I can do it at 35, YOU can do it at 18. You gotta put yourself in these fearful,(to you now... wont be down the rd), willing to appear nervous/stupid , not in control, may crap my pants/ may hyperventilate ,confrontational,never know till ya try, situaltions for this to EVER get any better? Right?..OMG! Should seen me taking my drivers test at 16..LOL SHAKING, had to pee somethin terrible, parallel parking, my foot was dancin back/forth from brake to gas. Cop was like SHEESH dude, settle down ...SO EMBARRASSED..LOL.. Big DEAL at the time....Had other physical reactions of anxiety to normal teen fears as well so please girl, be WILLING to go thru them .GET IT OVER WITH. i promise you, you may suffer a bit temporarily, but will come thru having more self confidence/ self reliance. Hope all goes well , but if it didnt /doesnt , please be willing to keep puttin yourself out to conquere this!

 As I read and respond to the many articles here, I noticed theres a uniqueness in every one, no matter how many are worded practically the same.I imagine being in each persons struggle, kind of give them a face from the past, draw on my exp, and those troubled, but unique souls  Ive learned so much from over yrs, and I can tell ya, theres no "Worst", most stupid, trivial. Before computers,SO MANY necessary life lessons/coping skills/problem solving skills/social interacting skills were accomplished in person by  Teens having to GO places having to deal w/ppl in ALL professions, be in awkward situations, naturally not having any exp.The Good Parents, let their kids make mistakes,let them suffer the consequences of their poor choices, and most of the time, they THANKED mom and dad for letting them go thru the exp, b/c it no doubt, made them a more independent person, ready to take on life in their 20s. NOW, practically EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! can be done online. Ive never seen a generation so socially ill equipped,underdeveloped, insecure about themselves, the world around them,to a point where paralying depression, anxiety, and the illnesses , w/ ever letter in the alphabet is used to describe these all the sudden, new to mankind, never seen/heard of in the past, diseases and illnesses that EVERYBODY under 30 seems to now have...Its called Isolation from life. Your a girl, biologically going thru major chemical changes anyway,add to that, your life, b4 covid, was likely being lived 85% in virtual form online,never having to face REAL lifes , REAL problems.Never getting any real sense of personal accomplishment, self pride 9the good kind) that builds self reliance. No , your not stupid, you havent even been given a CHANCE to be stupid yet..LOL. Your fear comes from facing the unknown.I see so many college kids on here today speaking of fears that my generation would have be voicing at 13 -14. Be willing to "appear dumb". I had to do it AT 35..LOL My life, as I knew it ended in 95 becuase of computers, had to RE invent myself so I was DUMB about the internet,couldnt talk the talk, had to ask STUPID questions, take advice from ppl MUCH younger than me, accept new social 'norms" I was very awkward at, and was even ridiculed for. BUT... it was a necessary "growth" period I had to go thru, though painful,it built SELF confidence, just like at EVERY teen yr I went thru did. If I can do it at 35, YOU can do it at 18. You gotta put yourself in these fearful,(to you now... wont be down the rd), willing to appear nervous/stupid , not in control, may crap my pants/ may hyperventilate ,confrontational,never know till ya try, situaltions for this to EVER get any better? Right?..OMG! Should seen me taking my drivers test at 16..LOL SHAKING, had to pee somethin terrible, parallel parking, my foot was dancin back/forth from brake to gas. Cop was like SHEESH dude, settle down ...SO EMBARRASSED..LOL.. Big DEAL at the time....Had other physical reactions of anxiety to normal teen fears as well so please girl, be WILLING to go thru them .GET IT OVER WITH. i promise you, you may suffer a bit temporarily, but will come thru having more self confidence/ self reliance. Hope all goes well , but if it didnt /doesnt , please be willing  to keep puttin yourself out to conquere this!

I am the author of above post , I will try to conquer these problems but its not that I am facing these situations once , I have faces these situations many times but I get scared as my school where I have to go tomorrow is very far from home and transportation services refuse to take me there . And that's why I feel scared . Actually when I was a little girl of 7 8 yrs , I used to live in the city and there I can go outside and purchase everything as I don't feel alone there but now I am at far place and my school is usually lonely and I have to face the teachers who will have a lot of questions for me . I am scared of meeting known people , not unknown people.

I am the author of above post , I will try to conquer these problems but its not that I am facing these situations once , I have faces these situations many times but I get scared as my school where I have to go tomorrow is very far from home and transportation services refuse to take me there . And that's why I feel scared . Actually when I was a little girl of 7 8 yrs , I used to live in the city and there I can go outside and purchase everything as I don't feel alone there but now I am at far place and my school is usually lonely and I have to face the teachers who will have a lot of questions for me . I am scared of meeting known people , not unknown people. 

Scared stupid

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