Hello. My name is Aidan. I'm 14 years old. And I have scelerophobia. A few months back, I self-diagnosed myself. In case you were wondering, or just haven't read the title, scelerophobia is the fear of criminals. As for why I have it, let me explain. It all started in the 7th Grade.
I was sitting in my 7th Grade class. It was close to the end of the school year, so everyone was getting excited. That's when suddenly, we had to start to evacuate the school. Apparently, some kid had brought pepper spray with him to school and sprayed it all over the cafeteria. Unfortunately, there were a lot of people in the cafeteria at that time. Some people had to be hospitalized, others had to be sprayed by a fire hose. Fortunately, the kid with the pepper spray was arrested, at least I think so. I was scared that the kid with the pepper spray would burst through the door and spray all of us. I believe this incident is what caused the very fear that haunts me to this day.
Due to my fears, I get nervous around people I find suspicious, I get nervous at night, I sometimes grab weapons to protect myself when no one is there, among other effects. My fears are made even worse because I have three mental disorders. Autism, ADHD, and General Anxiety.
However, despite my fears, I can't stop myself from watching Youtube videos that would only make my problem worse. I'm not saying which channels or videos I watch because I don't want to give them hate. Besides, it's not their fault. It's mine. These videos reference criminals who are true monsters. Murderers, rapists, predators, kidnappers, drug addicts, etc. I want to stop. I really do. But I can't. Heck, as I type this, I'm listening to one of those videos.
I need help. I've tried therapy to no avail. Medicine? Nope. Parental locks? Nah. They get removed eventually due to my good behavior. What do I do?