trust issues

screaming internally.

Time Spent- 17m
11 Visitors

I’m in a relationship with my best friends of 8+ years, only recently did we make it official. we did the whole dating on & off because I struggle with depression, anxiety & ptsd. I have major trust issues. everything is questioned by me. every changed energy is noticed. & it sucks. I feel like as we are getting older, it’s just something he would want to settle because I’m he’s scared of being lonely. idk, but I don’t feel like he’s happy, just comfortable. I know I’m not happy. I mean. The thought of him & seeing him makes me happy, but being with him... not so much. I just don’t trust him. he seems very manipulative in his own ways. but I can make it out. I’m a very gullible & naive, more like just stupid honestly. idk what to do... post pictures & write lovely things about him, but it’s all fake. I’m not happy at all. & we’re suppose to move in together this summer, that is also another thing I feel like he’s just with me for comfort. idk. my mind is in a spiral. then I also have this horrible insecurity where I compare myself to all the girls he’s friends with in real life & social media. like I know I’m nothing like them, so why is he with me & that’s why my conclusion about him just being with me for comfort. in the end when we do move in together, I know that we won’t talk about or feelings or communicate well. what do I do, what am I supposed to say without sounding like an asshole. I want to be friends but I know somehow it will not always work that way. fml. i could really tell, that each days goes by, he gets less interested in me. I don’t get why he still with me for. I have many more problems than just this, but this right now fucks me ip so badly.