I feels trapped and useless. I had sex with someone who is gonna destroy my life even tho I knew it. But I still meet with him. Because I desperately need love and attentions. Now I FUCKING REGRET IT!!! Virginity is too precious for Asian life. After mom knew it, she kept me in house and nothing is normal at all. The bond between me and my mom are already broken before this shit happen. I am 18 and still under my mom's care. Sometimes I just run away from home and fake death about me. Live my new life. I don't wanna die. Just want to disappear from my current life. Or maybe give a second chance or Turn back time...