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Secret? Until when?

This is my secret since...


When I was 6-7 years old, I and my sister lived with our father because my mother is working abroad. It was totally fine at first ..


One day, my father and his friends had a party in our house. As expected, they are really drunk and wasted.

As I remembered that time, we are already sleeping by 7:30 pm.

Suddenly, I was awake by a strange movement.

A strange touch from my legs, knees and the worst part my vagina. I felt that he was attempting to enter his finger into my vagina. Kissing my legs down to my foot.

I was about to scream but he whispered.

" I will kill your father if you'll do that "


I really don't have a choice.

Only I have is to cry silently.


Until he walked away and shut the door.


He kept doing that thing if they had a party in our house.


But one thing for sure, he didn't insert his penis into my vagina.


Until the day he disappeared but I don't have any courage to tell that to my father.


What happened to me after that?


By the early age, my sexual intuition is active. I always looking those feelings that the guy did to me.


For me to feel that, I always put a toy into my clitoris and knew how to masturbate when I was elementary until now and lose my virginity when I was high school.


..........


😭














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Re: Secret? Until when?

Sucks doesn’t it. I remember being sodomized from age 4. Other stuff too. Beat & tortured. At 12 I started sleep with older females. I realize now it was seeking being touched. People were only nice& gentle with me when being mollested. So I had sex to feel needed?

As for oral sex I secretly want it sort of. The thought makes me sort of excited & also sick to my stomach. I’ll even start shaking. I have never allowed anyone to do that to me since I got out of high school & was on my own.

You need to tell your dad but only after he promises to call the cops instead of dealing with it himself.

At 12 a man raped me. I never told. How many others did he hurt? I was so conditioned not to tell that I was afraid to.

I just prayed for you sweetie. It’s not your fault.

God Bless

Its completely fine, you are a living inspiration of strength

Try avoiding masturbation cause this destroys your sense even the sense of love

Sometimes you feel its love but its actually a sexual feeling so meditate and believe you are the strongest woman that can ever be.

And remember, God is with you.