My Mom & her wife (no, that's not a typo) were together for 36 years. They were one of three couples I try to model my marriage on, and the best example of genuine love I know. Four years ago we lost my Mom to cancer.
I was 10 when they got together and my Matoo's (that's what I call my stepmother because she's my ma, too) family became my family. Her siblings became my Aunt's & Uncle's, her daughter became my sister, etc.
But since my Mom died, it's all been different. I reach out to them, but they never reach out to me. And sadly, my Mom let us drift away from our blood relatives, in deference to Matoo's family. So now I've lost my Mom and all I have left is my son & her family. One of my Aunts calls me, but that's it. They aren't trying to be distant, they just don't think of me & they always qualify that our relationship isn't by blood.
However a year after my Mom, (through 23&Me), I found my biological Father and two half brothers! For complicated reasons I knew my Dad and Matoo should never meet, but I was looking forward to having my brothers meet my "family".
So tonight I tell Matoo that my older brother is coming to the area next month & I'd like to make introductions (we gather once a week, spread across my Uncle's lawn to visit, talk & drink wine), and what does she say? "I have no interest. They're your family, not mine"!
What, the actual, fuck!?!
I'm hurt. I'm pissed. I feel isolated and rejected. And I'm also scared ...and really, really saddened to think that (aside from my son and grandson), my sense of family died with my mother. It's like a second death I wan not prepared for. I still have this new family with my brothers & theirs wives and kids - and my Dad but; I'm still getting to know them and I don't know, (especially after this), if I will ever feel secure in a family dynamic again.
So what do you think? Do I expect too much, or am I just too sensitive?