a month ago
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Sensitive content

!suicide and other things!

Im Honestly not sure where to begin.. but im in alot of pain... ive been fighting suicide and other mental disorders alone for over 5 years now. Ive been going through emotional abuse and minor physical abuse as well. And today, after breaking down after my family received my poor grades, I hinted at that pain and all they could ask was about school.. Im a fighter... they called me weak... I went through all that alone. And they just disvalued me like im some spoiled dumb brat. It hurts so bad... All that pain was ignored... They didn't even take the time to consider I was suicidal... despite everything... All my life I wanted my pain to be recognized.. and the moment the words "I blame myself for just existing" all they could do was worry about the physical things like grades and my figurines. And its just completely disregarded... and continued to ask me about grades... Im in so much pain....

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a month ago

Re: Sensitive content

I don't know what you've really been through, but no matter how insignificant you think what you've been through is, it does matter. I'm so sorry your parents are oblivious to the suffering you endure, especially goes for if they caused it. I can't express in words how much I relate to materialistic, narrow-minded parents inflicting sorrow and suicidal tendencies, either it be direct or indirect. Please, find someone you can trust speaking to about this, either it be a close friend, or teacher, just somebody you can openly speak to. If you can't tell them about what you went through, just tell them you're suicidal and need help. You do need help. Nobody should have to have their thoughts slowly drain the life and will out of them. Nobody should suffer alone.

Emotional and mental health are equal to physical wounds. I don't care what your parents think about it, nor should you care, as it's an objective truth. If you get shot and loose your ability to walk, you're going to be depressed and your physical health will suffer. If you are depressed from some experience, ranging from small to tragic, you're less likely to exercise and/or socialize, decreasing your physical and mental health on top of your emotional health.

The greatest issue with suicide besides the stigma around it and other mental/emotional illnesses is how difficult it can be to recognize and address it. Not everyone has a keen eye for emotions, so if you're like me, it's extremely easy to mask any sort of depression and/or pass it off. This coupled with the stigma make it nearly impossible for anyone else to truly see what's going on. Add on people who don't believe in mental/emotional health at all and it's a real mess.

Please do get help when you feel comfortable and safe as soon as possible. The longer you try to escape from it, the worse it gets. I hope this helps!