Things aren’t as fun anymore. I lost my virginity to him, but he’s had so many before me. He says he’s not in the relationship for the sex, which is fine, I’m not either. But when we fuck lately, he won’t keep me on my back. The only opportunity I get to look at him is when I’m on top. It’s probably weird, but I enjoy making eye contact. There’s something really intimate about it, loving even. But now he just turns me on my belly and won’t let me look at him. Maybe I’m too scared to tell him. There’s a lot I’m too scared to tell him. Like he’s never gotten me off even though I fake it all the time. Or that I adore him but I feel like he may not me. Or that yes, I focus on his pleasure way more than my own. I’m okay with not getting off. It’s not a huge deal to me. But I wouldn’t mind it.