Hi , I’m struggling with something I struggled with for almost 3 years , masturbation . Before today I hadn’t I’m almost 9 months I want to repent and want to get closer to God, but didn’t realized it was still something I struggled with during these 9 months I juts ignored it and prayed and fasted ( it was easy during quarantine ) After quarantine when school started it got harder to pray I never had time and family memebers filled the house I never had enough space to pray as I like the seclusion of it , it got worse and I prayed less until one day I just stopped I wanted to start again but it got hard the guilt was eating me up and I even stopped reading my Bible . I would lie to myself a lot and keep blaming myself because it is my fault I should’ve tried harder I should’ve pushed and now I did something I regret and I can’t even think of praying I feel like I’ve betrayed him : I’ve had a lot of spiritual wars since birth I’ve struggled really have idek why I’m alive I’d be much better dead . And I can’t confess to anyone they’ll judge and my mom doesn’t listen ( my parents are basically divorced ) . It is my fault I fell in this if I hadn’t also entertained sexual thoughts all of this wouldn’t have happened , ik im a target to the evil ones , I knew since the start of my journey when the most sexual thoughts could pop up in my head during PRAYERS and I’d keep apologizing thinking it was me I had no one to talk to and now I’m here in tears writing this down . Help
2 months ago
Re: Sexual sin
Hey there, we don't share the same beliefs but I, too, understand the importance of rekigion, for which, before you think I am going to advise you to do something you would propably feel guilty for, I want you to know that the teenage body goes through many changes that are unavoidable and have nothing to do with how devoted you are, amongst such changes comes sexual desire. If embracing your sexuality goes against creed you can try to suppress it, however I can't really be of much help in that matter. Just keep one thing in mind: In case you don't feel strong enough to hold back, do you think God would prefer you to dishonour a woman for your own sake instead? (And I am talking about consensual relations as well, after all, you would be leading her to sin.)
Anyways, I hope this wasn't completely useless and good luck with your cause.
2 months ago
Re: Sexual sin
I am actually a female , sorry for not mentioning it earlier ..... it’s usually a really dull ache down there and I can feel a heart beat too . I don’t like it . But thank you you’re right in a way and I should aprroach this better. Hm I hate hormones sometimes , I wish o could control it better I’m almost 17 isn’t it supposed to stop by now ? ☹️