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Shattered

I am so fucking stupid. I am so fucking ugly. People have been telling me that my whole life. I have no choice but to believe it. I selfishly just poured my heart out to someone who didn't need or want the added stress of that considering her's is broken too. I foolishly thought we might be able to mend them but just like every decision I've made I was completely wrong. I am never going to do anything right. I am so alone. I need the silence to stop. I am idle in my emotions and it is destroying me. I am way too fucking ugly to ever think that maybe just once someone might think I'm attractive. Because of my looks some people have told me I'd be better off dead. The loneliness is making me wish I was. I am so fucking stupid. I am so fucking ugly.

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Re: Shattered

Straight up I'm taking an assumption that your young? Possibly teen? If not a teen then someone who hasn't had the experience of longterm committed relationships.

Firstly, looks mean NOTHING. they can catch the attension which is hard in the first place. So I'm not dismissing the importance you've placed on that as it does make things harder if your not someone whos society/culturely considered the ideal.

However, looks fade. But also, the most beautiful people in the world are cheated on like no tomorrow. Im not a fan of, but i know pop culture celebs are cheated on repeatedly by their partners and that proves beauty DOES NOT equal ultimate happiness and genuine love.

Second point is, yeah. You feel fucking shit. Nothing that you hear is going to take that away.

However... fucking bask in it. Overthink it, cry, do what you gotta do because the more you do that the more you gain in recognising your own resilience to overcome obstacles that are unbearable. You need to fucking burn to feel absolution. I am anti-religion but there is meaningful philosophy in the literacy.

You will learn through the pain. If everything was water you'd remain the same tendered shell crab. You need to feel the pain to grow from it. Stimulation to build the shell.

Finally, you need to hurt, OVERTHINK, then be patient.. in time you will overcome it and all those things you've been overthinking will either be proven or disproved; leading to self growth... leading to your next experiences being less and less painful