So I love her, we cannot be together, partly she says so, though at the start she was a lot keener, but a few factors play in, the thing is, I want her out of my head, even if i watch porn, it doesn't work, i end up turning it off and thinking of eating her out, her perfect ass in my face, rimming her even or smacking her ass, not typically things that turned me on but she, well i would do anything to her, she is not just lustfully hot, she is beautiful in every way that I can think and so i cannot imagine not wanting to do to her anything at all. Well the ass licking she wouldn't like but it doesnt make me feel eugh which anyone else it would.I want to shake her out of my thoughts but if i am turned on, it is only by thinking of her and how i wish i could even one time make love ot her. But then i know if that could happen i would never want to have that be the only time.I would want to give her everything, sexually give her her deepest desires, some of which i know, others whatever they are she could ask without being judged and i would want to enjoy her body and give her pleasure before myself.And also if i watch porn even without always masturbating because she fills my head and i feel sick at the reality of never ever going to lay down with her at night and wake up with her the next day.To come in with a coffee for her, to massage her feet, to pick her up as we go over the threshold, archaic maybe but in many ways i want to do every stereotypical romantic thing.Ah if only dreams came true, happiness lies in the reflection of love from those whom we love, love needs not wealth or power, love just needs to be returned by the object of our affections and we have everything we need.I hope this sexual and emotional desire could disappear soon, of course it wont but what the heck, i guess i will try to focus on anything but her.